My Solstice

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Jubilation in England this morning. Glorious. Go kids go.

 

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My solstice began before dawn with an episode of Homicide: Life on the Street. (Some of the best eps are scattered across youtube.) Revisiting Homicide was unexpected and most welcome. Andre Braugher as Mighty Frank Pembleton always lifts the spirits.

 

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Then to the doctors. It was nothing. A consultation. They strongly advised removing the third head, yuck yuck yes yes.

 

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A walk to the water, a view of the Sub Base. Mah Stonhenge! Solstice proper in the northern hemisphere occurred at 12:54pm EST, and that’s what it looked like. Not a total drag, but still…

 

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At home: phone calls, appointments, porn porn porn, forms completed, cards mailed… and I finally filled-in the white crack in the corner that was driving me fucking apeshit. Who’s the man.

 

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Then the solstice took a surprising turn! The overlords of my village throw a monthly “festival” in their management offices / torture chambers and offer us starving mad blind peasants “treats” and “raffles” and “eyeballs.” I’d never attended. Tonight was my first. Well, Hell’s Bells. Mac n Cheese n Lobster. Yup. No, it did not look like the above photo. As a matter of fact the dish was served in a plastic martini glass. But it was unexpected and very nice.

 

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The longest day of the year ended at 8:25pm EST. I was a little late. Fucking typical.

 

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Thus begins the slow tick back into the darkness, heh heh heh! Ye have reached the peak, you mortal scum! The summit stretches no higher, winter is coming and nothing can stop it! Nothing! Not even your stupid lens flares!

It was an excellent day, and all who reside in the house of Drax are very grateful.

Happy Solstice.

Ω

2018’s “DAS BOOT” SERIES…

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… is shockingly excellent. Currently streaming on hulu. That is all. Carry on.

Ω

YES EVERYTHING ABSOLUTELY SUCKS

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But thank Christ for Joe Kane and fucking VideoScope.

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Gratitude and respect.

Ω

For Immediate Release: DRAXIAN EMBASSY CONDEMNS TRUMP’S BEHAVIOR IN JAPAN AS “IDIOTIC, REPREHENSIBLE, INEXCUSABLE, DUMB AS FUCK,” and “HE SHOULD BE SLAPPED, MANY MANY MANY TIMES.”

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News at 11.

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HEXES is Dead! • World Dracula Day! • The Fox in the Backyard • and more

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A few weeks ago. Trying to terrify my children on instagram. 

HELLO AGAIN. So, yes. HEXES is dead. It was good but it’s gone, hours gone. All good things, yadda yadda ad nauseum. But as it is World Dracula Day, Hey now!

 

 

There will be a final issue of HEXES, the “goodbye” or “zero” or “infinity” issue. Here’s a sneak peak.

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The Fox in the Backyard

 

More Later. Peace and Love.

Ω

 

Back from WORSE THAN DEAD

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Jan 2019

Hey there. Welcome to the new simondrax.net, previously known as DieMonsterDie.com, ThatKinkyShit.org, and many other worthless pursuits and long dead links. Hi there.

Miss me? I missed you! “We have such sights to show youse.”

It’s nice to be back, Doomtroopers.

Ω

 

 

I Swear to Satan…

… I can’t watch or listen to Stuart Adamson and Big Country performing The Storm without shedding blood-red tears. The loss, the waste. God, I wish I could have been there in that stupid hotel in Hawaii 2001 and talked him out of the closet and the rope.

Stay alive.

Ω

VIDEOSCOPE #104 IS IN THE HOUSE!

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AS USUAL, chock-full of great shit. But I was so dismayed that The Phantom didn’t like Kong / Skull Island! (Although I’m still laughing over “Viet Kong.”) But for fuck’s sake, MIGHTY JOE OLD! Finally, an American kaiju movie that got it right! So much better than Peter Jackson’s dizzy, sloppy, head-scratching remake in 2005—even if it did feature my beloved Naomi Watts barefoot and in bondage…

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… and ten zillion times better than 2014’s Godzilla

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… I mean, LOOK at this. LOOK AT THIS SHIT. Mighty Kong smacking down choppers in vengeance against those pesky bi-planes of 1933!

The Phantom’s lack of appreciating Kong-sized entertainment notwithstanding, VideoScope #104 is outta sight. Visit The Phantom here.

Ω

 

The Rope Slave Rises Against the Darkness

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“What Am I Going To Be For Halloween?!”

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For fuck’s sake, I AM Halloween! I’m Halloween 365, 24/7! I’m on Darth Vader’s security detail, I wrote the program for The Terminator T-800 Model 101! People fucking FLY out of my way on the sidewalk!

But really I’m just a big black cat, looking for love. Why, WHY don’t they love me? (Ha ha.)

Ω

 

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