Hello, Beautiful

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Photo by Greg Martin

Of course I remember the Moon Landing. I was four. I don’t recall the specifics, not the lift-off on July 16, nor Armstrong’s first steps four days later, but I certainly remember the event as a whole. My brother was home on leave from Vietnam with his best bud, Joe, and the two of them just camped out in front of the TV for days. Of course I made a perfect nuisance of myself: “Where are your guns? Where’s your helicopter? Why can’t we go to Mission Control and watch everything on the REALLY big screens?”

They’d tell me to outside and see if I could spot the astronauts on The Moon with my naked eyes, to which I would reply, Of course I could. And 50 years later, I’m still looking.

Ω

Ragnar Returns

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Digital, July 2019 by The Creep / Model: D

If they can bring back Jean-Luc Picard in his own series— then by all the Gods, bring back Ragnar Lothbrok! As portrayed by Travis Fimmel! In THE FUTURE!

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Good Idea? (Your feedback will graded on a sliding scale.)

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Ω

Happy Bithday Amerika

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Michael de Adder

 

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Independence Day USA 2019

 

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No, we can’t believe the news today.

 

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Screen Shot 2019-06-28 at 10.09.28 PM

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Yes, we still can.

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Ω

My Solstice

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Jubilation in England this morning. Glorious. Go kids go.

 

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My solstice began before dawn with an episode of Homicide: Life on the Street. (Some of the best eps are scattered across youtube.) Revisiting Homicide was unexpected and most welcome. Andre Braugher as Mighty Frank Pembleton always lifts the spirits.

 

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Then to the doctors. It was nothing. A consultation. They strongly advised removing the third head, yuck yuck yes yes.

 

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A walk to the water, a view of the Sub Base. Mah Stonhenge! Solstice proper in the northern hemisphere occurred at 12:54pm EST, and that’s what it looked like. Not a total drag, but still…

 

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At home: phone calls, appointments, porn porn porn, forms completed, cards mailed… and I finally filled-in the white crack in the corner that was driving me fucking apeshit. Who’s the man.

 

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Then the solstice took a surprising turn! The overlords of my village throw a monthly “festival” in their management offices / torture chambers and offer us starving mad blind peasants “treats” and “raffles” and “eyeballs.” I’d never attended. Tonight was my first. Well, Hell’s Bells. Mac n Cheese n Lobster. Yup. No, it did not look like the above photo. As a matter of fact the dish was served in a plastic martini glass. But it was unexpected and very nice.

 

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The longest day of the year ended at 8:25pm EST. I was a little late. Fucking typical.

 

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Thus begins the slow tick back into the darkness, heh heh heh! Ye have reached the peak, you mortal scum! The summit stretches no higher, winter is coming and nothing can stop it! Nothing! Not even your stupid lens flares!

It was an excellent day, and all who reside in the house of Drax are very grateful.

Happy Solstice.

Ω

2018’s “DAS BOOT” SERIES…

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… is shockingly excellent. Currently streaming on hulu. That is all. Carry on.

Ω

HELLO BEAUTIFUL

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Wishing you well from the bleak shores of Planet Drax. But there will come new tides.

Ω

YES EVERYTHING ABSOLUTELY SUCKS

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But thank Christ for Joe Kane and fucking VideoScope.

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Gratitude and respect.

Ω

For Immediate Release: DRAXIAN EMBASSY CONDEMNS TRUMP’S BEHAVIOR IN JAPAN AS “IDIOTIC, REPREHENSIBLE, INEXCUSABLE, DUMB AS FUCK,” and “HE SHOULD BE SLAPPED, MANY MANY MANY TIMES.”

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News at 11.

Ω

HEXES is Dead! • World Dracula Day! • The Fox in the Backyard • and more

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A few weeks ago. Trying to terrify my children on instagram. 

HELLO AGAIN. So, yes. HEXES is dead. It was good but it’s gone, hours gone. All good things, yadda yadda ad nauseum. But as it is World Dracula Day, Hey now!

 

 

There will be a final issue of HEXES, the “goodbye” or “zero” or “infinity” issue. Here’s a sneak peak.

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The Fox in the Backyard

 

More Later. Peace and Love.

Ω

 

Back from WORSE THAN DEAD

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Jan 2019

Hey there. Welcome to the new simondrax.net, previously known as DieMonsterDie.com, ThatKinkyShit.org, and many other worthless pursuits and long dead links. Hi there.

Miss me? I missed you! “We have such sights to show youse.”

It’s nice to be back, Doomtroopers.

Ω

 

 

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